Maury

I like to think that at this point in my life, it takes *quite* a lot to really shock me. Today, I represented a young woman in court who wanted to get a Protection Order against the father of her child. When I asked her if they'd established paternity, she replied, "Yes. We went on 'Maury'". I made no comment.

Bolt from the Blue

Life sometime hits you with a bolt from the blue. I was in court about an hour ago, wondering if yet another client was going to quit on me (which she did) when I got a call on my cell phone from my brother, Boyd, in Colorado. I thought, "What the heck is this about?" (I do not have much contact with Boyd- no further comment here) He informed me that he'd received a call from our brother, Bruce, that Bruce's eldest son had just taken his own life. I never had much contact with Bruce or with my nephew, so I have *no* idea what brought this on. I certainly feel sorry for my sister-in-law, who is a very fine lady. I phoned my father for my usual daily check-in call, and of course, made no mention of what had happened. Who would imagine that a 94 year old man who outlive his college age grandson? It is a very sad situation.

Another Columbus Classic

If you live in Columbus, Ohio, and win the lottery, moving from Parson's Avenue to Upper Arlington makes a whole lot of sense. Ironically enough, Tremont Road curves through UA and at a point is about 30 yards from the house I grew up in. Richard Celeste was Governor of Ohio a few decades back, and if somebody would've purchase "Brushstrokes in Flight" (and taken it several thousand miles from Columbus), Mayor Buck Rinehart would've been a very happy man.

A Columbus Classic

The Franklin County offices are located about 100 yards from the Franklin County courthouse.

A Ken Osmond Comeback?

No, I am *not* referring to an unknown member of the famous singing family from Utah. Rather, I am referring to Theodore Cleaver's nemesis on "Leave It to Beaver"- a total suck-up around parents and a total troublemaker amongst his peers. In real life, after 6 years of playing America's favorite juvenile sociopath, Ken Osmond found himself type-cast and unemployable as an actor. So, at the age of 26, he joined the Los Angeles Police Department.

One of the highlights of his days in blue was the time that a rumor circulated that Osmond had adopted the name John Holmes and was doing porn. When a theatre owner put "Ken Osmond” in "Behind the Green Door" on his marquee, Osmond told the proprietor that if he didn't take down that sign, he would be hearing from Osmond's lawyer very soon.

Osmond wore a badge for 18 years until 1988, when a suspect shot 3 times- Osmond's Kevlar vest stopped two bullets, the 3rd glanced off his belt buckle. In any event, Osmond got to retire on a partial disability pension.

Am I the only person who thinks it is a low down dirty rotten shame that Ken Osmond does not have his own TV show: "Eddie Haskell, LAPD", a detective specializing in tracking down rogue child stars? (Danny Bonaduce could play his nemesis).

1,656?

I recently read of a terrorist bomb making teacher who managed to detonate one of his creations killing himself and 22 of his pupils.  Poetic justice is a wonderful, wonderful thing.  (In the words of Oscar Wilde: “It takes a heart of stone not to laugh.”) I can only wonder where they are going to come up with 1,656 virgins.

Meeting Santa

There is a lawyer I see occasionally at the court house whose hair is quite white and his full beard matches.  I recently kidded him that he must be one of the few people in Columbus who enjoys January because kids are no longer coming up to him and telling him what they want for Christmas.  I was quite surprised when he handed me his business card.  In mid- to late December he actually has a part-time business making appearances as Santa.