Bing Crosby

I’m not *at* *all* fond of Christmas- Partially because it coincided so closely with my mother’s death in 1975. I’m sure I’m not the only person who finds the sound of Bing Crosby crooning “White Christmas” both obnoxious and depressing, since it brings to mind some hopelessly idealized vision of ecstatic Christmas happiness.

It wasn’t until recently that I learned a couple things that made me feel better. Bing had four sons by his first wife. The eldest, Gary Crosby, achieved a modicum of success as an actor playing a supporting role as a Los Angeles cop in Adam-12. Gary Crosby wrote a book called Going My Own Way, in which he excoriated his father as being a terrible parent. His youngest brother disputed those claims, so who knows where the truth lies? One aspect of the Crosby family that strikes me as absolutely *ghastly* is that Bing’s second and third sons, who were twins, both committed suicide. Sounds to me as though there was something seriously wrong in that household.

The last piece of evidence for me is that fact that Bing Crosby was a *fabulously* wealthy man and, when he died, he left his sons trust funds that they could not collect on until their *sixtieth* birthdays. Ironically, none of his four sons lived that long. So cheer up, people. Don’t let Bing singing “White Christmas” get you down. I’ll bet his family was a *lot* more dysfunctional than yours.”


Bing Crosby in a rare toupee-less moment.