Monday, August 24, 2009

Tattoos: Now I’ve Seen EVERYTHING!

Now that I’m past fifty, I’ve seen my share of bizarre tattoos. In my humble opinion, I think that some tattoos on career sailors and Marines can look quite impressive. Just a simple anchor or a Marine emblem.

However, women who wear small tattoos, a rose on the wrist, well, not so bad. Tattoos from wrist to shoulder tend to say to me that you want the entire world to know that you’re a long-time junkie who doesn’t want the track marks to show.

When I was in Alaska, I once had a client who had tattoos not only on his hands and neck, but one right below his ear that said, “F*** A B****.” (His version was without the asterisks.) I wonder if he consulted a job coach about his choice of body art.

I had honestly thought that would be the worst tattoo I would ever see in my life until this past week. I saw a not-so-young woman who had tattoos all over both her collarbones and a 2.5-times life-size cockroach tattooed on her cleavage.

Comment one: If that was not a 2.5-times size cockroach, I really don’t want to encounter a roach that size without being in possession of a shotgun.

Comment two: I realize that some women have problems with self-image. However, anyone who thinks their cleavage who will be improved by the sight of a giant cockroach is in need of help.

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