Actually, it wasn't Tiger Woods who was behaving so badly- it was his evil twin, Lion Cheetah.
What is the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Swede.
Why did Tiger hit both a tree and a hydrant? He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
When asked how many times she hit her husband, Mrs. Woods said, "I don't know- put me down for a five."
Why was Tiger up that early? He had a 2:30 am tree time.
Why was Mrs. Woods up that early? She was out clubbing.
Why did Mrs. Woods go ballistic? She found out Tiger had been using Magic Johnson's old address book.
When asked to comment, Jack Nicholas said "That's none of my business" (No joke there- I guess Tiger must enjoy knowing who his friends are.)