Beauty Pageant Runners-Up

Some people get upset about beauty pageants on the grounds that they exploit women. To a certain extent, I agree with them, but I find the whole idea of the pageant rather silly. Many years ago, Halle Berry was first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant and opined that the only reason that she didn’t win was because she was black and the judges were racist. I have to chuckle. Maybe the judges thought the other girl was just a little bit hotter. Besides, if they were really racists, would they have allowed her in the pageant, much less make her first runner-up?

I’ve been reminded of that tempest in a teapot in the past few days, when Miss California finished first runner-up after opining onstage that she believed marriage was something between one man and one woman. This was not a particularly politic position to take when two of the judges were openly gay. (My collaborator just wondered if Perez Hilton is “openly” gay or just “obviously” gay. I have to believe that the answer is BOTH!) I see that Fox News has taken up has taken up her plight. (My collaborator just wondered how that counts as “reporting the news.” I say that it just gives Fox News the opportunity to show the young woman walking across the pageant stage in her white bikini. Nothing like a nice piece of cheesecake, is there?) I think the real value of a beauty pageant win is to provide publicity as a foundation for a future career. By that criteria, Miss California has won the battle. Quickly, can anyone name the current Miss USA or any of her predecessors? Proves my point.

I take the attitude that the world doesn’t particularly care about her opinion. I would much rather hear about her plans to achieve world peace. I am, of course, deeply concerned about Miss California’s future prospects. I fear that being first runner-up will have the same negative effects on her as it did for Halle Berry.

p.s. Former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, has announced that she now understands why she didn’t win the Miss USA pageant. She said that God understood that she could endure all that she had to go through. Furthermore, “God has a better crown for me in Heaven.” To me, this raises a much more interesting question. Will God have a bikini top for her in Heaven or will he have the wisdom to provide her with a wet T-shirt. Further, will he grant her amazing sweater puppies eternal life so cynical skeptics like me can suppress giggle fits while listening to her silly pronouncements while scoping out her thoroughly excellent rack.