The "B" Word, Part II

One of my less-agreeable clients was a fourteen-year-old boy named (I am not making this up) Keon Pleasant. The first time I met the young Mr. Pleasant, I counseled him by telling him, “Seeing as how your mom threw you out of the house and your grandmother was nice enough to take you in, if your grandmother tells you to mop the floor, do NOT hit her with the mop. Besides that, Keon, do not call her ‘bitch.’”

“Furthermore, when two female Columbus Police Officers show up, do not call them ‘bitch’ and do not threaten them with a mop. I don’t care what you saw in Jackie Chan movies, I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring a mop to a gun fight.”

I thought that was some excellent advice. Unfortunately, I neglected to tell him that before Magistrate Woodrow Hudson asked Keon if he had anything to say before he passed sentence on the assault conviction, it would be a bad idea to call Magistrate Hudson (who happens to be a black gentleman) a ‘bitch.’ Yes, that’s what Keon, a teenage black kid called a middle-aged black man in court. The Judge recognized the young man had some serious issues and placed Keon in a special ninety-day program.

When I learned that that would mean a ninety-day delay in me getting to submit my bill, I thought, but did not say, “Let me at that little bitch; I’ll straighten him out.”

I represented Keon on two other occasions. The first charges: One, truant. Two, jaywalking. And three, in possession of *half* a bottle of vodka. The second time was for a felony account of assaulting a teacher. I told fifteen-year-old Keon that he needed to clean up his act, or he was going to get permed, and put into Juvenile Hall.

I could tell by his contemptuous expression that I wasn’t getting to him at all. He had heard that speech so many times. Ironically enough, shortly after that incident, I left Ohio and was gone for more than six-and-a-half years. When I returned to Columbus in 2005, my curiosity got the better of me and I did a bit of research about what had happened to Mr. Pleasant. I was not the least bit surprised to learn that he was not only behind bars, but was doing time at Lucasville, Ohio’s maximum-security prison for aggravated armed robbery with a gun specification. I can’t say I’m eager to see Keon Pleasant again. Since he was a pretty scrawny kid, I think it’s far more likely than not that he has a cellmate who is a whole lot bigger and stronger than him. I suspect that man now calls Keon ‘bitch.’