Many of my friends know that I knew Woody Hayes, Ohio State's great football coach, fairly well. I also knew his wife, Anne. She was a great lady. Despite Woody's fame, the Hayeses never got an unlisted number. One evening after an Ohio State loss, a disgruntled fan called up and yelled at Anne, "Your husband is an idiot!"
"Well, what husband isn't?" was her reply.
Once, when Anne was shopping, a woman approached her and said, "Tomorrow is Woody's birthday. What are you getting for him?"
Anne said, "Make me an offer."
One question Anne got over and over was "Are you ever going to divorce Woody?"
She always explained, "Woody and I have been married for over forty years, and in all that time, neither one of us has *ever* used the word divorce. (pause) *Murder* on *many* occasions, but *never* divorce."