Attention everyone! This year's Ohio State-Michigan game has been cancelled- because Michigan not only can't show up in Columbus...hell, they can't even get past TOLEDO! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
In other developments, Michigan has a new mascot, replacing the wolverine with the Pastry Chef. This is altogether fitting and proper, since every Saturday, they had out abig bunches of turnovers!
And finally, scUM has a new school song, replacing "Hail to the Victors" with "I'll be Home for Christmas"