Hiccups

One day, many years ago, when I was still an undergraduate at The Ohio State University, I was at a drug store close to campus when I heard a teenage boy loudly and repeatedly hiccup. I very distinctly heard him swear and say, “I wish I could get rid of these hiccups.” (Incidentally, this kid was a *whole lot* smaller than I am.) I am not one to pass up a golden opportunity. I snuck out from behind him and grabbed him around the waist and jerked him a foot and a half in the air. I shook him from side-to-side 180 degrees about half a dozen times. I bellowed, “(expletive deleted) STOP THAT (expletive deleted) HICCUPING!” After about five seconds of that, I gently let him down and said, “Okay, let’s hear you hiccup now, buddy.” (sound of crickets chirping) The…silence…was…*deafening*. After about ten seconds, the guy said, “Hey, thanks, buddy!”