The Unsuccessful ESP

I am quite skeptical of claims that anyone possesses ESP (Extrasensory Perception.) As Dr. Isaac Asimov pointed out, if anyone actually had that ability, they would almost certainly pass it along to their progeny, and the trait would become quite common. I will admit that I once tried to pass a message via extrasensory perception, and my attempt was not successful. Several years ago, I was visiting some friends in San Diego. I arrived one day after the thirteenth birthday of their youngest son, Bryant. His mom had baked him a chocolate cake and decorated it like a basketball with his name on it. (Everyone in the family is very tall and athletic.)

To my amazement, the cake remained intact. The explanation for that extraordinary occurrence is that Bryant’s mom had not only baked him a cake, but three…yes, three…absolutely out of this world pumpkin pies. Bryant and his sisters had gone back for seconds, thirds and maybe fourths.

Some of my friends reading this will be astonished to learn that there are actually limits to my gluttony. I was not going to help myself to the first slice of Bryant’s birthday cake. For the life of me, I could not figure out a way to work, “Hey, let’s all have a slice of birthday cake!” into the conversation. This was the first time in my adult life that I have had the occasion to want to tell a teenager, “What’s your problem? Eat your cake! There are people starving in Darfur!” I had an absolutely wonderful visit with Bryant’s parents, but two days later, on my way out the door, I think I heard that birthday cake calling my name.