Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Gurkhas

I recently read in a news story that one of the political questions in Great Britain today is: should Gurkhas retiring from the British army be allowed to spend their pension-collecting days in the UK? For the benefit of anyone who is not an expert in military history, Gurkhas tend to be very small men who carry very big knives called kurkis, which they wield quite expertly. While I do not have a vote in the matter, I would suggest to my English friends that it might be an extremely good idea to figure out which neighborhoods in the UK have the most serious problem with knifings and gang violence. Once you’ve identified the locations, set up small public housing projects for the gurkhas and inform them that while HMG disapproves of the use of cookeries on innocent bystanders, it is the greatest possible honor to defeat an opponent in an evenly matched knife fight. I suspect that in well under a month, the criminals of Britain would be fighting for a chance to get out of the country.

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